Sunday, April 30, 2006

بتوحشيني

كل مرة بتوحشني لما بنكون لازم نفترق و كل مرة لازم نفترق و برجع انام في سريري وحيدة و هي كمان و كل مرة بنعيش على امل ان في مرة حتيجي حيكون مش لازم نفترق فيها ,
.
أحيانا بيكاد يصبني الجنون لاني مش عرفة ححلها إزاي أجبها من كل النواحي بوصل ديما لنفس النتيجة مفيش أطار شرعي لعلاقتنا و لا شكل إجتماعي باي حال من الأحوال و لما افكر و أقول طب جايز في يوم من الأيام يكون فيه أرجع و أقول مستحيل في مجتمعنا ده حاجة زي دي تحصل و لو بعد ميت سنه .
بتخيل كده ساعات أننا عايشين مع بعض في بيتنا أسرة صغيرة و عندنا بنت صغيرة . .
ديما في ألحاح من اسرتنا ان احنا نتجوز مش مستغربة لان ده عادي كل أسرة عايزة تشوف بنتها عروسة و طبعا مستحيل ان نرضخ و نسلم و نرمي نفسنا في التهلكة و ادينا بنتحجج باي حجة و ده غير من يحومون حولنا من الرجال اللي عايزين يتجوزوا و لا حتى يصحبوا دول بقى مشكلة كبيرة اوي و ديما بيعكروا حياتنا و يزودوا المشاكل اكتر ما هية موجودة , انا بحس بالإشمئزاز و القرف من محاولاتهم المستفزة و الزايدة عن الحد في بعض الاحيان ,نهيك عن اني بيجيلي حالة قرف طبيعي إذا اقترب مني اي رجل حتى لو واقفين في طابور يا ريت محدش يزعل بس ده اللي بيحصلي و مليش يد فيه , .
في ستات كتير في مجتمعنا أتجوزوا و هن مثليات و في منهن أستحملت عشان ولادها و أتعذبت و بتعذب كل يوم و في منهن عرفت تخرج من المشكلة دي بس اكيد فقدت شيء و خسرت.
كثيرا تبدأ قصة حب او أرتباط بين امراتين بصداقة يعني بيكون الأتنين صحاب عادي ثم تتحول الصداقة دي أو مش بتتحول هي بتطور لحب لأن الحب لازم يكون فيه صداقة , تفاهم و كل واحده بتخاق على التانية بتكون زي امها و اختها و اخر حاجة الجنس لانه وسيلة للتعبير عن الحب ليس ألا و هو مش هدف أبدا و أن كان مهم لانه غريزة

42 comments:

Anonymous said...

Salamun alaykum,

I just want to say that God didn't create you this way, be sure of that. The problem is that each one of us has a Qareen (a Jinn), and there is a constant struggle between us and the Jinn to take control of the mind and body, in your case your Jinn (Qareen) has taken control completely, and when the Jinn takes control he/she tries to change the design of God which is (a man and a woman), so you need to repent my friend, do you know that many homosexuals recovered! and now they have wives and kids and totally happy? i am sure that you are deep inside unhappy. Remember the people of Lot, they were homosexuals and God destroyed them, so fear God my friend, repent and find a man to marry.

Anonymous said...

that's not even close to be true ^^^^
i just feel like those retarded people with those stupid thoughts of jinn and such things are gonna just get me out of my mind...
dear annoymous ^^^ when you are NOT in the situation you can NOT judge it ....you NEVER know..so dont say those Jinn thingies that are not any reasonable


انا معاك ...الفراق اليومي اللي بيحصل بيوجع ...
والأهل ما بيتوقفوا عن سيرة الزواج ...
بس هو صراع طويل ...لازم في يوم نلاقي حل
dark soul

Someone like you said...

Hi there, nice to see a new post from you. I have to say again you are born the way you are so don't listen to what the others say.
I know how it is to be in a family always wanting to get you married. You just have to have a thick skin and don't let them get to you. At the end it is your happiness and not theirs, and you only live once!
Do you see a possibility of travelling together with your friend; e.g. to alex or any other place? Maybe that could help you getting away with her for a few days.
As for your dream of sharing a flat together, don't give up on that.
Take care!

Chiquitita said...

انا بس بدي قول انك شجعتيني أرجع البلوغ اللي كان إلي وانشالله بكتب فيه قريبا
dark soul

some ready to listen said...

well althought the thought is very weird but I wish it was that easy you just go to someone and expel the jinnn that lives inside us and be free and live happily ever after and concerning finding a man to marry this isnt a solution too because then you are not only unhappy but your also destroying someone else life because after a while maybe months, or years you wont be able to go on cheating him anymore or pretend anymore and most fo the time he isnt happy too and if there you childern hoping they will help you to correct things it will be more damage and more peopple to hurt but now you are alone and it is bewteen you and GOD but with husband and kids you will sure be responsible in front of GOD for all of them too.

emraamethlya said...

welcome ironic :) yes write back hun i am endorsing you , stay in the closet but at the same time try to find your girl and other girls to share things with u and to have a friends that you can really be urself with them

emraamethlya said...

el Jini dah akeed howa enta , you codn't imagine how your theory about the jini is funny ,
THERE IS NO RECOVERY SINCE THERE IS NO ILLENESS NOR PROBLEM

may be you have a problem but not homosexuals

Ahmad said...

Salamun alaykum,

If you don't believe this theory of the Jinn (a fact not a theory) then i will give you a proof. Let me ask you this, do you ever get satisfied from meeting with your girlfriend? don't you ever feel guilty afterwards? do you ever feel imprisoned and in deep need to break free? well if your answer is YES to any of these questions then you have a problem with your Jinn companion, and it is real, everybody is born with a Jinn companion, when he/she takes the lead it becomes hell on earth, an overwhelming feeling of being lost and tied in shackles, but there is good news, if you reverenced your Lord and took the decision to fight your Jinn back, then God willing you will recover like all these people on this website, check it out: http://www.peoplecanchange.com/index.htm . and also check this respected site debunking the myth of "born that way" http://www.narth.com/menus/born.html . Best wishes
Ahmad

أحمد said...

اه مرحب ثانى

emraamethlya said...

Ahmed oh thx dear u r just putting me on the right way
bass plz i wana warn u couse u have a problem too with ur Jini he told me that ,he said u r ..... i coudnt tell u here what he said ,
Ahmed you make me hope that u shut up

Ahmad said...

Salamun alaykum,

My friend, i know what my words make you feel, and it is not my intention to argue with you, but the truth is: your biggest mistake in life will be to surrender to your Jinn companion's control. Stop fighting and you are dead. You yourself said it, that you used to feel guilty, but now you don't, that's because your jinn is in almost full control now. If you love God, if you need Hi slove, seek that love at its legitimate sources, a righteous man, you can still have girls as friends but not as lovers. And if you fear God, remember the warning, a very serious warning in Quran, the people of Lot were blinded by their lust and because of that they were utterly destroyed, well, it can happen to you!

Read Genesis 19 at the biblegateway.com and read Quran from 27:54 to [27:58] We showered them with a certain shower. It was a miserable shower upon people who had been warned.


Read Lot's story and you will understand that what you are doing is out of ignorance, there can be no real satisfaction except from the legitimate design, a man and a woman, wishing you the best.

Ahmad

hwy93 said...

This is the first I've heard of a Jinn Companion. Can thry be taught to do tricks or run errands? Keep doing what your doing. I'm a hetero male but I have met a few hot lesbians. whatever.

Anonymous said...

شايفين يا ناس قد ايه الشواذ راقيين و مؤدبين (حسبي الله ونعم الوكيل!!!!!!):
يقول لها: أختي الكريمة إمرأة مثلية
أتمنى لك حياة سعيدة
و أتمنى لك التوفق و السداد
أستاذتي الكريمة
أنت من شجعني ، أنت لوحدك أن أنشر مذكراتي على الشبكة
يوميات رجل مثلي
http://www.gayofsun.blogspot.com
أرجوك أن تدعميني بنصحك و إرشاداتك
و يا ريت تضعي لي لينك في مدونتك الكريمة
و أنا سافعل المثل
أتمنى لك حياة كريمة
أخوك فلان
qol laha f akher il resala: "yours Homosexually, Folan il Folani" Hahaha

Anonymous said...

يوميات امرأة شرموطة دى وللا ايه؟؟؟ أيه دا ؟؟؟؟؟؟

Anonymous said...

if you see me i will convince you that men are great and very sexy just give it a try.. have u ever had sex with a man anyway?

Anonymous said...

bet7issi bil ishmezaaz min il reggala izzai ya qazera inti?? ommal rabbina khalaqlina il reggala w khalaqna lil reggala leeh ya moqrefa ya safla?? makan qader rabbina yekhalli il nas kolaha settat bas aw regala bas!! alashan il aqzar amsalik yerta7o

Anonymous said...

Dear Gay of Sun.. dont worry inshallah u will find the right person who satisfies your asshole
Yours homosexualy
Gay of Mooooooon

Anonymous said...

الله يلعنك يا كلبة لو لم تتوقفي عن وساخات نفسيتك الشيطانية ربنا ما خلقش حد وسخ أنما انت اللي شطانك شاطر واهلك ماربوكيش

Anonymous said...

بنت صغيره؟؟؟ ازاي تخلفي منها يا حاجة؟؟

Anonymous said...

جاي أف سان

صليت التراويح يا كس أمك؟؟؟

9/25/2006 02:06:12 PM
Anonymous said...

Gay of Sun ya 7abeebommak.. don't worry about them.. they r all ignorant people.. Keep working on your new "religion" of Islam + Christianity + Judaism + your ass (teezak) = happiness for all homosexuals in the world!!!

9/25/2006 02:08:37 PM
Anonymous said...

يعني عنجد من الشعب العربي ما بيتوقع غير هالتفاهات
يا اللي بيكتبو التعاليق هادي ممكن أعرف شو جابكن ع المدونات اللي بيكتبو فيها المثليين؟
طيب لو كان بينكتب فيها قصص جنس من اللي عمالين بتدورو عليها كنتو كتبتو هالتعليقات ولا شكرتو من الموقع؟
هاد تخلف وانحطاط من كل واحد منكم واللي مش عاجبو ما بقى يدخل هالمواقع
أكيد حتكتبو كلام بذئ علي متل اللي بتكتبوه كل مرة بس مين حيتأثر .. أكيد مش نحنا
انطحوا راسكن بالحيطان

9/26/2006 01:39:26 AM
Anonymous said...

لا احد له الحق في منعك عن مثليتك ولكن الاعتراض هما هو مجاهرتك بذلك

فإذا كانت المثلية امر لا تستطيع الخلاص منه وان ذلك ليس باختيارك فنشر افكارك المثلية يتم بإختيارك وتستطيع المتناع عنه

سلام

adi wa7id tani beyefham ya kossommak shoof qal eh??

9/26/2006 01:46:10 AM
Anonymous said...

الي الجحيم يا خولات العرب

9/26/2006 01:47:46 AM
Anonymous said...

لا يمتنع ازاي؟؟ ابن الوسخه بيحلم ينشر ديانته الجديده في الأمه العربيه هههههه وعلي رأى الأخ اللي بيكتب انجليزي ههههههه شوية اسلام زائد شوية مسيحيه زائد شوية شذوذ و خولنه تبفي الحكايه فل ههههههههههه

9/26/2006 02:35:45 AM

royal blue said...

al salam 3alaykom

ana aret kter mn el posts bta3tek w a3'lab rdod el nas. w la7ezt 7aga.

feh e7tmalen, el e7tmal el awal en el blog da feh kalam mesh 7a2e2y la2en sa7bet el blog {da ma3a el efterad enaha fe3lan set be 3enha mesh group loh hadaf mo3ayan} kol elly bte3meloh enaha betkarar kaza post adem 3andaha kol fatra {just copy here paste there} evey now and then.
ya3ny bta3 10 or 15 posts w yemken 2a2al gahzen beyetkararo tol el shohor de... enty aw ento 3ayzen eh bezabt mennena

ama fel 7ala el tanya w da she2 mostab3ad {en ykon kalamek da 7a2e2y ra3'm tekraro} fa mesh kol el regala bel sora el saye2a de bal bel3aks kol ragel me7tag le om w fe kalam sme3to zaman en el ragel bey3esh 7ayato fe 7odn omo w ba3d keda lama yekbar w ytgawez yetne2el le7odn mrato.. w tob2a deh omo el gededa w tob2a om t7en 3alaya w 7abeba a7ebaha w sa7eb ashkelo hamy w sadek asek feh w zoga te7mel esmy w traby 3yaly w shreka a3esh 7ayaty kolaha m3aha w tob2a kol 7aga leya fel donya w nob2a sanad le ba3d...

eh ra2yek fel kalam dah???

blace_yoloo_whit@yahoo.com said...

أود التعرف عليك يأميرة فأنا أتفهم ظروفك .عبده المصري

Anonymous said...

mmmmmmm

tyb ente kda

eshta

3rfte mnen b2a en fe 3rab kteer zyek

bythya2le da kdb

w el kedb 7ram w 3eb

w ezay t7kome en el 3laka ma3 el rgala hatfshl mn 3'er mtgrbeha?

Anonymous said...

بصى اذا كان انتى بتكرهى الرجالة ف دا اكيد لية سبب دى حاجة
ثانيا انتى بتقولى انك بتحبى البنات وتنامى مع البنات علشان مابحبش الرجالة
اللى بتقولى علية دة مرض ومش عيب انك تعترفى بمرضك واظن انة مش عيب انك تعترفى بمرضك
وعلى العموم ربنا معاكى وتتعالجى
مش معناة ان واحد ألمك فى حاجة يبقى الرجالة كلهم كدة وحشين
وكمان لو فضلتوا على كدة الجنس البشرى هايختفى كلة
قولولى هاتخلفوا ازاى؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟
يحيى

Anonymous said...

اسمحيلى ، انا اول مرة اسجل رد هنا ، بصراحة انا نفسى اتكلم معاكى بس بشكل خاص ، لو معندكيش مانع انا هكتب ايميلى هنا ومستنيكى

leaor25@hotmail.com

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Anonymous said...

wow,thats exactlythe way i feel,i think that god created us like that and he feel what inside of us rabna m3ana

حاجة تقرف said...

خيبة لما تخيبكم كلكم على بعض كده
بجد يعني اللي استحوا ماتوا
واحدةمتعقدة من الرجالة مش عارفمين مديها علقة سخنة وجاية تقولي أنا مثلية

يا شيخة جتك نيلة منيلة بستين نيلة على دماغك
ده انتي عايزة حد يمسكك وبالشبشب لغاية ما تقولي حقي برقبتي

Afrikan Mojito said...

I just wanna say that everyone of us were born unique with different standards. Not because you are different means you are an enemy to the normal world. Just accept yourself to be normal. There is no harm of you being a homosexual. Its natural. Besides telling the truth will set you free. Its risky but its better than being sorry. I wouldnt say I dont care what others might think of gay or lesbien people. I just wanna tell them that we are all humans after all in this life. and we are no GOD to judge anyone regarding of what they do or who they are. You never know the situation that someone have passed thru that change them that way. You dont know what cause it to be that way. Just admit the fact that U R NOT PERFECT just like any other.

My advice to the author of this blog: Embrace life as it is. Enjoy it to fullest. and as for your family you need to work out to come up with the truth someday. It'l hurt them. Cause i know in the arab world its an abomination of those who are homosexual. but explain to them wat you feel and i believe that they would seek your happiness and decisions will go for the greater good.

Good luck

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